“We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.”

Earl Nightingale was an exceptional writer of motivational thoughts and guides for individuals seeking to embark on new stages in their lives. The beginning of something new, for any individual, is the bridging of a gap between one's old self, and the new self they which to inhabit until the next change in their lives. For some, this bridge manifests itself in several ways; the choice to be a better partner, individual, and a healthier person are all choices that are open for anyone who takes the time to actively pursue them. The choice of the matter negates then the frequent desire of many to rely only on the causation of their circumstances to determine their destiny; a destiny which should be innately chosen, as opposed to imposed.

For myself, the changing of ones destiny, or even a path is one which is started with a single step. Since starting this blog, it amazes me still how many steps I have taken in such a short time. So I would like to take this post and talk a little about the steps I have left behind, and the ones I still have left to take, not only alone, but now with others who are inevitably tied to me through my relationships with them.

This thought, in and of itself recalls me back to one of my first beloved poems by Robert Frost:

*not my artwork and click image to read*

Whats that you Say? Bella's still Alive?

Alive and kicking!

Well gentle readers, I have missed you so! Im sorry for such a late arrival and for being neglectful with my comments and reading your blogs! However, I am officially back, and also, gainfully employed IRL!

Now that I am engaged and employed me and SO are finally talking about our wedding in two years time. Its time to get serious, which is why I now have on me a magazine from Martha Stewart sent by my sister. Things just got real folks!
Anyways, I wanted to update you on my life...new posts coming soon! But first, its time for me to play catchup with all your lovely blogs! Expect comments soon!

All the best
Bella

Dear Gentle Followers and People on My Blog List, I Need Your Help

I just need a brief moment of your time to tell you a little bit about a campaign my friend is running. I really hope we can get together and give a little back today- even in a small way. If you can read the following, visit the site and spread the word, that is all that is needed. If you are interested in promoting my blog, please choose this blog post to be the one you promote today, because it could really do some great good.

Now I have posted this in my Features of the Week, but I really think it deserves a post of its own

This post today is about something which I'm sure has effected someone you know: its about the journey that is Alzheimer's and the need to increase the awareness surrounding the disease. It is our hope that by promoting this campaign others will be aware of the people who are effected, not the disease itself- about the families and all those who need help to cope with this turn in their lives.

When I first read Vanessa Parent's story about her Grandpa Jack, I couldn't be more touched. I have elderly parents, and I couldn't imagine a day knowing that they couldn't remember me, or what had happened in their lives. The fact that Vanessa had to cope with that everyday, and tell her grandfather that he had lost his wife everyday, was just heartbreaking to me. I felt compelled to do something, anything to help spread the word, and do my little part to contribute. Every little thing counts, so if all you can do is re-post the following in your Facebook, twitter, or even in your blog, that is more than enough.

I want to thank you in advance for reading this post, and even visiting the site and considering helping. It means more than the world to me, and those you could be helping.

(Campaign)

Eye of the Beholder

Our Story

David Kaye and Vanessa Parent are two recent graduates of the University of British Columbia aiming to produce their first short film. Teaming up with award winning Director Adam Bogoch (Avoid Confrontation, Complexity), they are putting together a production team and will be shooting at the end of the summer. David and Vanessa hope that this film will be the first of many, based on true stories, that pertain to the complexities of human relationships and the adversities that bring people together, sometimes in the most surprising ways. Their first story is about Vanessa's grandfather's struggle with Alzheimers.

Grandpa Jack

My grandpa Jack and I had always had a special relationship.  I was always his "little pal".  When I was 22 years old, my grandmother died leaving my grandpa alone with advancing Alzheimers. As my family was overseas, I moved in with him for a short time and he had no idea who I was. I had to tell him everyday that his wife had died, and every day it broke his heart. He eventually stopped asking who I was or trying to kick me out. One day, he wanted to take me out for ice cream. From our conversation I realized that our relationship had changed, at least in his eyes

Eye of the Beholder

The story follows Jack, on an afternoon outing with Sarah. As events unfold, it becomes clear that their relationship is not what it seems. We hope to tell Jack's story in a way that will both entertain and raise awareness about this devastating disease. We are currently waiting for a response from the Alzheimer's Society as we have offered our short film to them to use as a fundraising tool or PSA.  Our tale is sweet, funny, poignant and heartfelt and we want to dedicate it to all the people who are affected by this debilitating disease: To those who forget, and to those who are forgotten. 

What We Need & What You Get

The budget for the film is $9,000. We are currently in the middle of pre-production and will be casting in July. All proceeds go directly to cover the costs of production and post-production including, but not limited to, location fees, insurance, equipment rentals, catering for the cast and crew, editing and sound mastering, etc.

If we do not reach our fundraising goal, the funds collected will still be put towards the making of this film, but we will have to postpone production.

As a contributor, you may receive special thanks, production credit, executive producer credit, a copy of the finished product on DVD and production stills.

Other Ways You Can Help

You can also tell all your friends, relatives and even that strange guy you see everyday at the water cooler, but you're not quite sure what his name is, to follow us on IndieGoGo!

"I guarantee that we'll have tough times. I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me"

How I love this speech

This quote epitomizes what I think a proposal should be. Its from Runaway Bride, where Maggie finally goes to Ike's place and explains all the reasons why she's been running. She says that she was always walking towards something, and that the reason why she ran away from her weddings was because she didn't know who she was, and became what her partners wanted her to be. In a lot of ways, that's something I have also struggled with in my relationships, but when I finally realized who I was and what I wanted, I found S; or I guess we found each other.

Traditionally, proposals were a form of often legal marriage promise to ensure the fidelity of the groom to marry, and to ensure that the bride was in fact virginal. 

I like to think its come a long way from that, but some still get caught up in the bling of it all.

"Between the wish and the thing life lies waiting"

I've spoken briefly on the blog about waiting before; the period for a woman where her and her partner are ready for the next step, but the brief interplay between planning and following through are what many refer to as the waiting game for engagement

Well ladies and gents, I'm currently waiting....and much like that quote, I have to attribute something meaningful to something that is akin to waiting in a slow elevator in a 22 floor building while Gwen Stefani's Tick Tock is playing in the background, without the fun and psychedelic Alice in Wonderland allegories to keep me entertained.

To make things short I went from this (patient, collected, stoic even)

To this

God I hate waiting, it never gets you anywhere.

"The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life."

Oscar Wilde was an interesting character. He dedicated much of his creative life to the writing of human relationships, and as such, probably was a natural born cynic. It also didn't help that at the time, his penchant for men made him a somewhat wealthy, but social pariah. It doesn't surprise me then that he most eloquently put this quote together, which many today prescribe to- there's no such thing as happy union, more often in marriage, its a state of mutual indifference more than anything.

Well, Wilde, as much as I like the Importance of Being Earnest, I'm going to have to go to the mat with you on this one. Because as naive as it may seem, I do believe in a happy marriage, and I do not suspect that the appearance of one thing means another. In other words, I call bullshit.

"Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it."

Out of all the quotes I have used so far, this one is by far my favorite!

No mountain is worth climbing unless it is high enough to make it worth the effort. No love is worth having unless it is worth the struggle to keep it true.

There are so many things in life that require a calculated amount of risk. Its necessary in my eyes, in so many ways, to maintain that sense of accomplishment by acknowledging where we tumbled, because we rose so high.

I guess this is the way I want to blog after the events of the last few days. I feel refreshed, rejuvenated, and most of all, I'm still with my best friend in the whole world.

Resolution

Hey there readers!

SO, after my previous post, I just wanted to let you guys know...well, we have really worked out a great solution for the both of us. If you are interested in the full story, I suggest you look into my WB profile for more info, but besides that I want to thank everyone who reached out to me on a more personal level, and the rest. I hope this post reminds you of why you are with your SO during the rough patches and the non rough patches :)


All the best blessings I can muster!
Bella

Keeping it Real

I had a completely different post planned today, but instead, I'm going to honor what I said I would do with this blog and be 100% honest with you all.

Me and SO are kind of in a rough patch at the moment.
Now we can talk about the ethics of airing such information to the interwebs, but I'm not going to be talking about what problems I'm having. What I will talk about, its what it takes to make things work in the bleakest of times.

"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul."

Music is one of the universal languages of the soul in my opinion. Which is why when it comes time for me to walk down the aisle, the one thing I thought about first when I thought about being married, was the one song that always made me think about finding your soul in the music. I didn't dream of a wedding, or a big brass band, what I saw was a single guitarist playing a single song while I walked down the aisle to the person I wanted more than anything else in the world.

If course, me being me, I chose a cover from the Rolling Stones no less. Keith Richards, eat your heart out.

"Love is when you're kept up all night thinking of him, and then when you fall asleep, you find him in your dreams."

Or you have chronic insomnia. I find in my case, its a little of both.

Explaining the hows and whys of love is like trying to describe the role of an engineer; you have no idea what exactly goes into the job, but you are pretty sure that its a lot. 

Writing about love is much of the same. You wonder around in the dark for a bit until you find that exact phrase, that exact refrain that will cement your Love's affections and the immortality of the words for hopefully forever.

I can imagine the Romantic poets of Shelly and Byron sitting down with a nice scotch or a Barolo and musing on the latest exploit of their tawdry love lives, but when I think of love, I think of something much more simple.

As you can tell by the picture, Byron wasn't exactly a simple bloke; for example, he liked funny hats.

Which is why when I write my wedding vows, I wont be referencing the Romantics; I'll be referring to the hows and why of love in the way that I see them: in the reasons why we fall in love with someone. 

"No one lives long enough to learn everything they need to learn starting from scratch. To be successful, we absolutely, positively have to find people who have already paid the price to learn the things that we need to learn to achieve our goals."

And starting over is scarier than anything; probably because one way or another, you paid the price for jumping the gun a bit.

As it stands now S and I are starting over in a lot of ways; we are reaffirming things in our relationship, and working through trials that come with being young and working towards a marriage. Most of all, however, we are facing the biggest challenge yet- starting over our entire wedding planning process.

With that said, its Do Over time, ladies and gents. Lets Recap, shall we?

 These last few months for S and I have ushered in some intense growing pains, and realizations. 

We are stronger than ever, but we are a lot more humbled I think than we started out. 

Mostly because the realization that we don't know jack about shit has pretty much hit us.

When we first started talking about marriage, we always talked about what the wedding would not be, rather than what we wanted it to be; it would not be all about the pomp and the glam, it would not be a three ring circus with family input, and it would not be called by anyone but us. Unfortunately, we thought that would narrow what we did want down a lot...and here we are and I for one want to change every idea I ever had about the wedding.

This is what I originally came up with as an inspiration board (for newcomers, that's a picture collage of the key ideas or feeling or theme behind a wedding).

I called it french empire modern (or something to that effect) ({Personal Pictures- Personal usage only)

“An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body.”

Truer words were never spoken

Since graduating I have come to terms with the fact that I am accustomed to living very unhealthily. In fact for the last few years I have been down right decadent with my eating and drinking habits. As such these excesses have now led me to realizing a very innate truth- if your arse doesn't get a little run around, then you are bound to wake up weighing 220 pounds one of these days.

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”

That's kinda funny that you mention that, Emil Ludwig, because ours happened in the first 15 minutes.

I hope that doesn't take the romance out of that quote for you ladies and gents, but its true; and I find the truth is often more exciting, stranger, and a lot more enticing than fiction. And if you are interested in my story, then I have to tell you the other half of it.