"I guarantee that we'll have tough times. I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you're the only one for me"

How I love this speech

This quote epitomizes what I think a proposal should be. Its from Runaway Bride, where Maggie finally goes to Ike's place and explains all the reasons why she's been running. She says that she was always walking towards something, and that the reason why she ran away from her weddings was because she didn't know who she was, and became what her partners wanted her to be. In a lot of ways, that's something I have also struggled with in my relationships, but when I finally realized who I was and what I wanted, I found S; or I guess we found each other.

Traditionally, proposals were a form of often legal marriage promise to ensure the fidelity of the groom to marry, and to ensure that the bride was in fact virginal. 

I like to think its come a long way from that, but some still get caught up in the bling of it all.

The point is, the quote is honest, true, and tells exactly why the person proposing so desperately wants to be with the person they are proposing to. Its real to the point of being a fault, and I'm sure many people would find it to be unromantic or imperfect. Is it crazy that that's what I love about it? That two so imperfect people come together and being honest with each other still say, I want to be with you more than anything, even though I know it might be hard, or sad at times, but my love for you outweighs any fear I may have. That to me is more meaningful than anything.

It got me thinking about proposals and what they have come to mean to both men and women. To some a proposal is that one moment in a series of moments in the spotlight- you want to be surprised and dazzled, and only then will you say yes. I don't really understand this reasoning, because what giant show of affection could possibly sum up the kind of love you have with someone? In my eyes, its meant to be immeasurable, and invaluable, so no amount of pomp or flare will really capture enough for you to say yes. There's a scene in Runaway bride that also shows Maggie going over all the proposals shes ever had- every one of them was an over the top gesture, and even Ike points that out- and every one of them she ran away from. I think that says a lot about whats gets lost between the reality of something and what we are told it should be like. Its my favorite scene in the movie because the speech above is exactly what Ike would say to propose to someone.

So enough about me, here are some thoughts from some people I spoke with about proposals. What do they mean to you? What should they be, what should they not be? I think the answers will surprise you.

First person up! The one and only S, seeing how this will be very pertinent to him soon.

Question: Why Do a Proposal?:

Because it's an opportunity to show you how much I care about you and how much you mean to me! By taking you out somewhere and having an awesome day together I can do that easier.

 What a Proposal  should not be?:  

It doesn't have to be extravagant, but it definitely shouldn't be too simple!

Some soon to be married or already married women had some interesting takes on it as well:

dolphi99:

I think a perfect proposal is what works for the couple! For us, it was simple, but romantic, and he asked me in the spur of the moment when it just felt right!

Knubbsy-Wubbsy:

Perfect proposal? One that is meaningful to the two in the relationship as well as fitting to their relationship. If one or the other is introvert, especially the one on the receiving end, then the proposal should not be big and showy as that would not make the receiver comfortable. It should fit the relationship, and the individuals.

HBC:

The major thing that needs to be present in a proposal is raw and genuine emotion. Flashy proposals don't equal special proposals any more than money can buy you love.

So what say you gentle readers? What should a proposal be to you? What should it not be?

Also, how were you proposed to, and what was most meaningful about it to you?