“We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.”

Earl Nightingale was an exceptional writer of motivational thoughts and guides for individuals seeking to embark on new stages in their lives. The beginning of something new, for any individual, is the bridging of a gap between one's old self, and the new self they which to inhabit until the next change in their lives. For some, this bridge manifests itself in several ways; the choice to be a better partner, individual, and a healthier person are all choices that are open for anyone who takes the time to actively pursue them. The choice of the matter negates then the frequent desire of many to rely only on the causation of their circumstances to determine their destiny; a destiny which should be innately chosen, as opposed to imposed.

For myself, the changing of ones destiny, or even a path is one which is started with a single step. Since starting this blog, it amazes me still how many steps I have taken in such a short time. So I would like to take this post and talk a little about the steps I have left behind, and the ones I still have left to take, not only alone, but now with others who are inevitably tied to me through my relationships with them.

This thought, in and of itself recalls me back to one of my first beloved poems by Robert Frost:

*not my artwork and click image to read*

 When I think about all the turns I've taken, it draws to mind the stark fact that I never expected myself to be where I am right now; I am happily employed, with a wonderful future in a budding career, with someone who I admire, respect and love deeply. For some, these things are very simple, almost tantamount to living any life, for a life worth living could be one which you can share with another. I don't personally prescribe to that idea, which is why in a lot of ways, I'm surprised by the small choices that have led me here.

I chose to look for love online, and if I had given up when I had wanted to, if I hadn't checked my mail the day my future Fiance replied to me, I would have never met him. The sheer fact that the odds of finding any individual who cares for you and supports you, puts into perspective the fragility of one's path. Its something that can really play with your mind if you let it, and at the same time, it fills you with a really great sense of gratitude for what you have. I personally think my thought process on always being aware of how my choices impact my life, maintains that gratitude for it, which I know I've lacked in the past. I think many people are like that however, the mundane overrides our lives, and we fail to see the beauty in just its existence, and how fragile it really is.

The choice to be married and to bring two very different families together is also a huge step for Fiance and I. We come from such different backgrounds that to bridge those differences, it requires a great deal of communication. I wont lie, a great deal gets lost in translation (literally) and as such navigating the waters of planning a wedding with so many different personalities can make you question "why the heck am I doing this?" But the fact is, one way or another everyone goes through this; the integration of your new life with someone into your life alone is such a huge accomplishment- and since our families are both so unconventional, I'm sure it will be interesting to see how their coming together plays out. Its funny, our parents are relatively close in age, and the first time they met, my father in law and my father were talking shop about the way Vancouver used to be, where they used to work, and all these things that Fiance and I had no clue about. We were so worried about these two very strong willed men coming together to meet one another, but with a little bit of hospitality and a little bit of luck, they got on and it was a huge relief. 

In some ways, I think its come too easy for me; I think its part of my upbringing that I expect things to be hard. I grew up in a house where you worked hard, not only because that's what our father instilled in me and my sisters, but also because it was one of those ways of cementing your independence. As such, I got used to hard days and long nights pretty quickly, and my expectations for most things became that things were hard, and nothing would ever come easy. When I met S I realized how untrue that assumption really was, at least it was supposed to be untrue when it came to love and being with someone. Would it be crazy to say that I expected everything to be so much harder than it has been? Its funny to think about it that way because the person I am now understands that some things are easy, and they are wonderful when they are..that life doesn't have to be so hard.

I guess at the end of the day this post is about questioning one's assumptions about the way things are meant to be. Otherwise, its just another excuse to allow circumstance to be the determining factor in our lives, rather than active choice, because if we assume life is a certain way, then it is that way and there's no changing it. However if we allow ourselves to change and be flexible to the way the world can be, we open up a host of possibilities- the possibility to fall in love, to find a career that takes you in a different path than you expected, to have a family that can come together as a unit and still work. I guess I'm looking at my life for the first time in a long time and realizing the incredibly possibilities I never noticed before, all due to the fact that I took the unbeaten path, rather than the one I laid out for myself. And in a sense, I think its one of the best decisions I ever made.