"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings was an inspiring writer; it does not surprise me that someone who was known for his jarring poetry and liberal personality, would write such a quote. I would imagine that Cummings was an abrasive, but likable personality, and like many others, fought against a world during a time that each man and woman was given a role by society and pressed upon to be a certain way.

Unfortunately, very little has changed; the roles, though different, still are pressed by society. What we have now is the need to be noticed, famed or adored within our circle of influence. However, as someone who has more often than not had to change who she is in order to form relationships I say to you now; the most important and authentic relationship you should have is the one with yourself, first and foremost. However, as with most things, certain events and media, will always make you forget that important fact.

 I find that a lot of what we do introduces us to different ways of labeling ourselves and others. Bride, wife, single, engaged, all of those things carry with them a great deal of social baggage. That being said, several of those things define us at periods in our lives; and I find sometimes, we lose ourselves in the label.

I guess my fear at times is will I lose myself within the label of wife and mother? Is that all that will define who I am to those around me, including those who are significant in my life? 

Recently I have found several labels being applied to me possibly, especially since I have technically started planning a bit for mine and S's wedding; the label? Bridezilla

See the fear in their eyes? 

You just wish she was terrorizing a Japanese village instead of you

So what of this label? Well, I will be honest, shows such as Bridezillas or My Super Sixteen have pretty much fed into the media perception that women at large are ring and money obsessed harpies. I pretty much find that stereotype to be awfully degrading, as I'm sure many of my female and male readers do as well. Its just unfortunate that the twitter and facebook generation has degenerated into wanting these sorts of labels. Its suddenly a source of pride to be known as a bridezilla, to be completely entitled, and feared.

Well I'm sure you can tell by today's quote that I think the whole labeling of women either which way is wrong no matter what. Bridezilla can be easily applied to any woman; if you are unwilling to let your bridesmaid wear something completely nutty to the wedding, you are accused of being a bridezilla, and if you want some say in what the groom is wearing, or just a bit more respect from your in-laws, you are told you are a bridezilla as well. In that sense, a lot of the precursors to this label are established in a woman being outspoken about a particular day.

Now, I'm not for either sides of this label; I don't think its just your day, I think its both the couple's day and that you should share that equally with your partner as much as possible. I also don't believe in labeling someone who is outspoken as a bridezilla, with only her outspokenness as a symptom of that. Ultimately however, I don't agree with individuals buying into the guise of Bridezilla, either as a sense of pride or as a media spectacle at all. I happened upon an episode of WE's Bridezillas the other day, the very show that made the term popular. Well see for yourselves just the kind of madness all this labeling leads to. 

Ultimately I want to believe that the above Bridezilla bought into the idea of being that way, both because of a promise of a honeymoon, and also the fact that everyone around her left her insanity unchecked. The fact remains that the majority of women are not this way; are not irrational women whose sole intent is to have her day her way. I would attest to the fact that most of the women I know who are planning their weddings currently are some of the most even heeled I have met; in fact, I would guess that the fear of being overtaken by the madness of wedding planning and the label of Bridezilla is what makes them less outspoken than most.

So for women, we are told everyday that we must be the best wives, mothers, and brides by society around us, even though more often than not, our media tells us that they expect us to fail. So I say this, be the best person you can be, the best individual who you will be proud of, and in that moment, you will surpass any label attributed to you. As Cummings said, this is an endless battle against what others will tell you who you are; the fight is in remembering and knowing thyself amongst the labels others will give you and to act accordingly.

What say you readers? Are there labels others have given you, and how did you deal with it? What do you think of the term Bridezilla?