"Love is when you're kept up all night thinking of him, and then when you fall asleep, you find him in your dreams."

Or you have chronic insomnia. I find in my case, its a little of both.

Explaining the hows and whys of love is like trying to describe the role of an engineer; you have no idea what exactly goes into the job, but you are pretty sure that its a lot. 

Writing about love is much of the same. You wonder around in the dark for a bit until you find that exact phrase, that exact refrain that will cement your Love's affections and the immortality of the words for hopefully forever.

I can imagine the Romantic poets of Shelly and Byron sitting down with a nice scotch or a Barolo and musing on the latest exploit of their tawdry love lives, but when I think of love, I think of something much more simple.

As you can tell by the picture, Byron wasn't exactly a simple bloke; for example, he liked funny hats.

Which is why when I write my wedding vows, I wont be referencing the Romantics; I'll be referring to the hows and why of love in the way that I see them: in the reasons why we fall in love with someone. 

Wedding vows are like the only public love letter and promise you will make to your spouse; they have to be sweet, but short, and somehow summarize all that you love and cherish about your significant other in several paragraphs. I don't know about you, but I can imagine that can be quite a task.

Which brings me to my first question; what exactly makes us fall in love with someone? One way or another you will see this question popping up during the process of writing your vows. For me it was a series of moments I shared with my SO over the last two years.

The first time I was vulnerable with him: We sat in a parking lot at the movies, and talked about how mutually hard it was for us to get close to people; it was also the day I told him about how often I was taken advantage of by others, and how my heart was learning to trust again because of him. I dropped him off later that night and he would come to tell me about 30 minutes later on the phone, that he had been thinking about telling me he loved me the whole time and regretted not saying it then and there. We both said I love you over the phone that night and it meant the world to me.

The first time he made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants: He was doing an impression of a character from little Nicky (one of my favorite movies) and I bowled over laughing. There are a lot pee-worthy funny moments so I will spare you the long list. The point is he wasn't afraid of being a dork and I loved that about him very much because I am the Queen of the Dorks.

The day he saved me: I was absolutely petrified of my mentally ill sister, and I had no where to go, so I called him asking him if I could please come over and he was at the Skytrain in under an hour in order to make sure I was OK. It was one of my most frightening moments, and he took care of me- it made me understand that I could rely on him no matter what. When he offered to want to move in with me and my parents, and was worried about my safety, it also made me realize how much he would to make sure I was OK.

The little things every day he thinks I never notice: The way he always serves my cereal first in the morning before himself and measures it just to make sure I get things right for my diet. How he never fails to make sure I'm taking care of myself by either cleaning up after me or tucking me in at night. The way he kisses my forehead sometimes just because he can, because he knows it makes me feel safe. How he never fails to hold my hand, no matter where we are and who we are with, because I know he feels proud being with me.

When I think of my SO and standing up there before our friends and family, I don't think about famous words that someone else came up with hundreds of years ago. I think about all the wonderful things I have experienced with him and how grateful I am for having fallen in love with him and all he does and has done for me. When I think about the promises I will make to him, I don't think I will write that I will give him the moon or the world will be his, but that I promise to make him feel exactly the way I have felt for the last two years for the rest of his life and to be honest and faithful till the end of our days.

I think we complicate writing our vows sometimes thinking that just the right quote or refrain will somehow capture everything we feel for a person when we love them, but I find that the simplest words are often the most powerful and moving. I think going in expecting to be Shakespeare is like going into your first baseball game and expecting to play like Babe Ruth; its not exactly realistic in the way that its not really you. So rather than trying to a be a pro hitter, try just to be yourself and say what you really feel. I know that's not exactly an elegant plan, but I think it'll be one that will work for me.

How bout you readers? What made you fall in love, and when the time comes, how will you put that into words?